Week 8 Rambling Drill
First, I must comment on the upcoming NBA season, which could turn out to be one of the most fun in memory. I gotta say it’s been real fun betting against Mike Brown, as I took the Raptors +3 in their first home game versus the Cavs. I really don’t gamble on NBA that much, especially not at the volume I bet on NFL and College FB, although thanks to a tip from our resident L.A. Clipper fan Van Tran last year, I was able to pay two months rent thanks to his “Bet the under in the first half; over in the second half when Clippers are at home” strategy that went 10-1 (only loss was to the Pacers). This trend was lucrative last year, mostly thanks to two things that spell NBA betting success: losing your best player to inury (Baron Davis), and Mike Dunleavy being involved in any way shape or form. I felt this was how to have betting success in the NBA: get tips from a true fan of the team, and come to a sensible conclusion thanks to those tips. Van Tran to me in a poker game: “Mike doesn’t even coach the team in the second half, they just play a game of pick up out there!” A team with shaky yet talented personnel and no coaching? Sounds like the money truck is backing up with that statement to me! Anyone know a bookie?
Granted, however, the most optimal strategy to bet on NBA games? Knowing a referee of course! Here’s an excerpt from the book-that-won’t-be-published-but-should-be-because-there-is-this-thing-called-the-1st-amendment that I will immediately buy once it is on the shelves (even though the guy is a degenerate felon, but I really am fascinated by this shit):
Allen Iverson provides a good example of a player who generated strong reaction, both positive and negative, within the corps of NBA referees. For instance, veteran referee Steve Javie hated Allen Iverson and was loathe [sic] to give him a favorable call. If Javie was on the court when Iverson was playing, I would always bet on the other team to win or at least cover the spread. No matter how many times Iverson hit the floor, he rarely saw the foul line. By contrast, referee Joe Crawford had a grandson who idolized Iverson. I once saw Crawford bring the boy out of the stands and onto the floor during warm-ups to meet the superstar. Iverson and Crawford’s grandson were standing there, shaking hands, smiling, talking about all kinds of things. If Joe Crawford was on the court, I was pretty sure Iverson’s team would win or at least cover the spread.
All this times, poker player and seasoned NBA bettor Haralabos Voulgaris was betting games based on charts and graphs, and I bet games based on an NBA knowledge I had accrued due to years of collecting basketball cards and countless hours running plays in the NBA Live series (like knowing the fact that Shaq defending the pick and roll vs Damon Stoudimire/R.Wallace in NBA Live 2001 was like watching a retard trying to learn karate). And all this time the optimal strategy was to simply know either Tim Donaghy, or the ball boy that his crew tipped, based on a prop bet the referee crew placed before the game. It’s as if Van, Darts, and Allen were in the souls of these refs, personally placing bets on the games WHILE that officiated them. “(whistle blows) Loose Ball Foul on 45! $20 on the white board at the Castle!” It’s sickening, hilarious, and shocking all at the same time. And a lot like when I read Canseco’s book, “Juiced”, I really do feel he’s not completely bullshitting on this one because me and my NBA friends (all 6 of us) have been saying the same shit about Dick Bavetta for years. The NBA, Where Rigged Happens.
NFL thoughts on last week:
Is this LB button truck stick hit by Adrian Peterson considered a hate crime?
Reggie Bush hitting the right trigger stick+Y to score a great TD versus the Dolphins
Daniel Synder pulling off his best Communist China Mao impression
Great story from Mister Irrelivant about the Synder sign lynchings:
Last night I was at my first Skins Monday Night game. I went with a couple friends, but knew I needed to take an Anti-Snyder banner with me. Problem was I couldn’t come up with anything clever until just before I left for the game. My brother texted me the perfect idea for a sign to play off on the whole Sherman Lewis bingo thing. I whipped up a quick “Snyder…B-I-N-GO F Yourself” sign on a bed sheet so everybody could see it.
In the third quarter, one of my friends and I took out the banner and were holding it up. Next thing I know, four security guys are coming up both sets of stairs and headed right for us. They take my banner and tell us we have to leave the stadium. On the way out a bunch of people in the section are taking pictures and chanting “Free Speech!”
Once we got to the concourse area they asked for my ID, which I quickly tried to pass off to a friend. One of the security guys snatched my wallet and wrote down my drivers license info in his little black book. I guess that means means I’m banned from the stadium or something. They then escorted my three friends and I all the way from the 400 level out to the front gate. I tried to talk to them about the whole situation but they weren’t having it — too busy being serious security guys, I guess.
So, long story short, I got my point across, they took my banner, I probably got banned for life and I got to leave the game early. Good thing too, it was an awful game.
The Redskins looked so lax on offense on Monday Night; Jaws said it best that the team just doesn’t have any urgency. Maybe they need some athletes, some spark, and someone ready to kick some ass and take names later, as in while doing a somersault backflip. Who do I suggest? Kurt Thomas (not the one from the NBA who has 3 DUIs), who practices the greatest form of karate known to man: GymKata (as narrated by Don LaFontaine). You know Reggie Bush walks up the steps in his mansion using just his hands!
The picks for the week:
Jax/Ten Under 45
Wait, you are telling me I get to bet an under, above 40, with games involving both David Garrard AND Vince Young!
Philadelphia +1 vs NYG
I like taking home teams in coin flips, although this happens to be my smallest play of the week.
GB +3 vs MIN
Agree with Lou, and the statement above.
6 pt teaser of the week:
ATL +16.5 @ NO
IND -7 vs SF
