Blaine Gabbert Sucks
Fuckin’ Blaine Gabbert, man…….I have KC/JAX Over (41.5) and JAX gets a quick safety early….we actually get to 23 at halftime…suddenly its 28 to fuckin 2 and that’s how the game ends. KC might not score 28 points the REST OF THE YEAR.
What I missed though……is an opportunity to bet against Blaine Gabbert. I think he sucks. Balls. Between the happy feet and the over hype coming out of college, I knew this guy should of been a guy “who I have to bet against every time he starts.” He would join Dan Orlovsky, Jeff George, and Tim Couch as the other guys who I would always bet against when they started. These men paid my rent, and instead of continuing the tradition with Blaine Gabbert, I’ve put faith in this guy now multiple times (I also bet the Jags at +375 at home last year vs Chicago. I also love betting against Jay Cutler, but the Jags thought it would be a good idea to wear black jerseys in 90 degree heat in September. #facepalm #moneyonfire).
No more. I can’t wait for this guy to get signed by the Jets or some other suckbag team that I can bet furious amounts of money on.
Ironically, he got hurt/benched and now Henne is starting for the Jags. Henne is actually OK and i think 3rd best backup QB in NFL; he has flaws (late on throws), but has a good arm and a good rhythm with Cecil Shorts III (who had 8 TD and 897 yards last year when Henne became starter and Cecil saved my fantasy leagues when I was short at WR depth). The Jags might actually now win 4 games this year, where with Gabbert, they might of only won 2. I am upset because I was going to pull a Pat Darts and bet the Raiders at home this week, but not bet is off as JAX now has a chance to win.
BTW, don’t ask about Danny Amendola or the inept Pats offense if you see me. Every time I see Welker, it’s like seeing an ex-girlfriend with a less attractive (rich) guy with a gimp.
Here are the picks:
GB -7 (-115) vs Washington
The Redskins looked awful defending the run last week, couldn’t hold on to the ball, and only came back when the Eagles took the gas off the pedal (as they usually do) in the 4th quarter. Opener in Lambeau Field, a still-shaky-n-rusty RG III (who I am benching for Schaub in a fantasy league this week), and a pissed off Green Bay team who lost a game they should of had a better chance to win last week because the refs screwed them over again and will probably cost them a home game in the playoffs. Add the karma with their nickname (I now call them, “The Washington R.G. Threes”)……and we’re gambling!
Eagles/Chargers Over 55 (-105)
Until the Eagles’ main players (McCoy, Jackson) get hurt and Mike Vick gets his spleen broken into 99 pieces, you have to keep taking their overs here as they try to run 85-90 plays/game. Add the fact they are playing the Chargers at home, who blew a 28-7 lead on MNF (and Houston, Over bettors like me thank them for it!), I can see this being a game in the 30s (that the Chargers find a way to lose…again #Norvcurse).
Baltimore -7 (EVEN) vs Browns
Home opener, ring ceremony, Ray-Ray in da house, EVEN spread (should be -110)…….and the hapless Browns (way to rub it in, Baltimore Ownership). Add the fact the Browns have lost 12 in a row in Baltimore (and have gone 9-1-1 ATS in those games), with the Ravens are coming off a long week where Manning threw 7 TDs (and they def replayed this on film over and over), they should have the motivation to crush this team.
All of above in Teaser +160
Seahawks -3 (+105)
I essentially think this is a coin flip, and I think getting juice (it should be SEA -3 EVEN) on a home fav (rare) is a steal.
Add the Seahawks’ great fans (and best home field in all of sports) are going to try and break a Guinness World Record this week in crowd noise….and we’re gambling. On a side note for those with a major gambling problem, the fact you have the two best defenses in football, the under at 44 also looks tasty.
I also wanted to put the Falcons in a teaser (-6) with the Texans (-10), but I am done with putting ATL in teasers….it always loses money….. like me on a Friday night at Tattletales (and at least then, I get to see some boobies).
On a side note, with the Mayweather Fight, Texas A&M vs Bama game, EPL Soccer, MLB, and NFL….this weekend could break a volume betting record in a Vegas “Perfect Storm”:
“In all my years, I’ve never seen a schedule that sets up so perfectly for betting,” said Vaccaro, now working for the sportsbook at the South Point casino. “You can’t put together a schedule like this. It just happens, and when it does, it’s definitely good for business. It’s going to be off the charts.”
Anytime could be the most wonderful time of year to gamble!
One thought on “Blaine Gabbert Sucks”
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There’s a non-zero chance the Baltimore sucks and Cleveland isn’t terrible. Baltimore doesn’t have enough receivers and probably won’t be able to run effectively. It seems similar to Thursday’s turdfest only with the away team getting fewer points.
Should pass on Atlanta for basically the same reasons.