Week 4 Rambling Drill
We almost had a miracle cover last week, but it was Jake Delhomme and the Panthers trying to cover the 6.5 as they drove down the field, trying for a meaningless touchdown late in their 21-7 loss to the Cowboys. This was maybe one of the worst games, if not only the year, but also the century, and I was not a better man for watching it (although I somehow faded F.Jones, S.Smith, and D.Williams in my fantasy games. Thank you, shitty football teams).
Speaking of mediocrity, Lou suggested this week during a Kelly’s Roast Beef run, wouldn’t it be fun if Sports Illustrated, as they do for champion teams, offered a video package for losing teams as well? Imagine the hilarity that would ensue! You are watching the MNF on ESPN, and suddenly a commercial comes on: “Mets fans! Subscribe or renew your SI package now, and get for free, “Epic Fail: The Story of the 2009 New York Mets! Call within the next 30 minutes, and get an autographed picture of Mets’ 2B Luis Castillo dropping a fly ball 3rd out at second base versus the Yankees!”
Some other suggestions include:
“Oh Butters!: The Story of the 2009 Cleveland Indians. Call within 25 minutes, and get a glove signed by Jhonny Peralta that has a large hole in it.”
“What the Fuck is Going On?: The Story of the 2009 Kansas City Chiefs/Oakland Raiders. Two crappy teams for one low price (although video is the same length due to lack of highlights)! Call now and get a ticket to attend sensitivity training with Raiders’ coach Tom Cable and Chiefs’ coach Todd Haley!”
“Different Coach, Same Ole’ Shit: The Story of the 2009 Cleveland Browns. Call within 30 minutes, and not only will you get an autographed picture of Braylon Edwards welcoming you to the locker room, one lucky caller will get a chance to coach the Browns for the final game of the season after Eric Mangini gets fired! Call today!”
We did have a miracle cover in football land, however it wasn’t in Pro or College football. In an epic high school football tilt in Vermont between Mt.Mansfield and Otter Valley (+3) ended in a last second touchdown for Mt.Mansfield, securing the win and the miracle cover. Somewhere out there, DeSean Jackson feels a little better about himself. So does Jake Delhomme; at least when he throws the ball away, he’s throwing it forward.
Finally before the picks, me, Lou, and the Degen Boys headed out for some Friday Night Football in Cambridge to see the Brown Bears (+3, as set by our own crew, although Darts argued that it should of been +4. We also had the over/under line move 2 and half points in 1.5 seconds; that’s what happens when degens are riding dirty (#6) to a college football game) take on the Harvard Crimson.
Harvard ended up holding on at the end of the game, 24-21, as Brown, who (I guess) had a shitty field goal kicker, decided to throw a Hail Mary instead of kicking a 42 yard field goal in the waning seconds. Brown’s main problem was they could only run it with consistency, not throw it, with their “White Cat” attack: a WildCat formation that featured all 11 players being white. A Rams fan at the bar suggested we call this personnel package: “The Snow Leopard”. Done and done.
Here are my picks for the week:
Indianapolis +10.5 vs Seattle
The Colts will destroy this team at home. Their offense is playing great, and Seattle is led by Seneca Wallace and Jim Mora Jr. After reading Lou’s blurb on the Seahawks, that’s all you need to know to put money down.
Oakland @ Houston Over 42
Oakland has a shitty offense, but both teams have shittier defenses. I see the Texans winning, 40-17.
6 point Tease of the Week:
Miami +8 vs Buffalo
NYG -3 @ KC Chiefs
3 thoughts on “Week 4 Rambling Drill”
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Houston is allowing 200 (two hundred) yards/game on the ground. The only thing Oakland does effectively is run the football. Wonder if OAK +9.5/10 makes sense here too?
It would if JaMarcus Russell wasn’t their QB.
BTW, great joke by a user comment in the YouTube video about the Mets:
The name of the team is Mets?
I think there was a spelling error. I think they meant Mess.
Also sent this in to Urban Dictionary. Riding Dirty is different than ridin’ dirty, thanks to chamillionaire:
Riding Dirty
Sneaking in nips of alcohol (generally vodka or whiskey) to a gathering, such as the workplace, sporting events, or concerts.
“Mr. Darts was riding dirty as he walked into the arena, thirsty for some Harvard football and the Jim Bean he has neatly tucked away in his back pocket.”