First, a fascinating look at scalping tickets at the winter games.

Olympic ticketing has its set process. Organizers generally sell seats as far ahead of the Games as they can, slowly releasing batches for the premier events first — in order to maximize cash flow in the years leading up to the festival. Pools of seats are then made available to citizens of the host nation, and anything that’s left goes to general sale nine to 12 months before the Opening Ceremony. So the Games are usually either “sold out” or “95 percent booked.” It only takes one visit to the Olympics to know that this type of news is all useless misnomer that should be completely ignored.

Apolo Ohno – Old Person?

Why Scandanavian countries aren’t any good at figure skating.

A majority of Canada’s hockey players are left handed. I don’t know hockey well enough to say, but maybe there’s a strategic advantage in being left handed, like in baseball, creating a self selection bias toward those players.

Roughly 60 percent of the Easton hockey sticks sold in Canada are for left-handed shots, Mountain said. In the United States, he said, about 60 percent of sticks sold are for right-handed shots. Figures over the years from other manufacturers have put the ratio discrepancy between the two countries as high as 70 to 30.

The difference even trickles over into golf, where the swing is not unlike that of a slap shot. According to the Professional Golfers Association, 7 percent of Canadian golfers play left-handed, which is proportionally more than any other nationality. The reason is probably that Canadians pick up a hockey stick first and are therefore imprinted by the time they take up golf. Especially if they are from Quebec, where hockey players are even more left-handed than players in the rest of Canada.

Oddly, British Columbia — sometimes said to be the most American-like of the Canadian provinces — skews the other way. “The rest of the country goes 2 to 1 in favor of left sticks, but it’s reversed in B.C.,” said Marc Poirier, a customer service representative who handles Canadian orders for Warrior Sticks.

Europeans also tend to be left-handed shooters. The International Ice Hockey Federation does not keep figures by European nationality, the communications director Szymon Szemberg said. But, he said, lefty shooters have predominated. “For long spells, the great Soviet teams of the ’80s never had a player who shot right,” Szemberg said.

Boston.com has a kickass photo blog for the Olympics so far.

As if curling wasn’t cool enough, the US curling team has it’s own condom.

Lastly, what’s better than a women’s hockey brawl in an Olympic qualifier? Don’t miss the score.

I was encouraged to hear that Michael Vick, in advance of his reality show that debuts Tuesday on BET , is saying he led “a double life,” and I use the word “encouraged” advisedly. Because you don’t know how many times I’ve asked myself and asked people who worked inside the building at 4400 Falcon Parkway if I/they had any hint — any hint — of what was to come.

And I did not. Which might make me the world’s worst reporter, except that I’ve not yet found anyone within the compound who saw it coming, either.

I know, I know. People on the outside will harrumph and say they knew it all along because he wore his hair in corn rows and dressed in a manner different from, say, Peyton Manning. But I grew up in the ’60s and have had some fairly extravagant hairdos myself, and I attended my high school graduation wearing platform shoes with four-inch heels. Me, I stopped judging on appearances long ago.

And even if you believed Vick mightn’t have been a model citizen, you knew this … how? Before the Ron Mexico civil action was filed in 2005, there wasn’t a hint of misdoings, and he’d been a Falcon since April 2001. In hindsight, the weird part wasn’t that we “knew all about” the most famous person in Atlanta but that we knew, as in really knowing, hardly anything.

That’s why I’m intrigued by “The Michael Vick Project”, and what it might reveal. I thought I knew him. Turns out I only knew what I was allowed to see. I’m intrigued to see how he kept his lives compartmentalized. I’m intrigued, as the spies in John le Carre’s fictional Circus would say, by the tradecraft.

Vick in an Atlanta radio interview this week said the following:

On whether or not people ever saw the best that he could’ve been:

“No. Not at all. I think if I woulda applied myself, there was a lot more I could have done off the field and also in the film room that could have elevated my game to a totally different level. I was complacent at the time, somewhat lazy, and I kinda settled for mediocrity. I thought what I was doing was enough. I thought that would suffice and I didn’t have to do anything else. I thought as my career went on I would continue to play at a high level. Everything that I was doing off the field, in regards to the marijuana and everything else, it didn’t slow me down, but it definitely slowed my developmental process because it made me lazy in a sense and I wasn’t really focused and didn’t take things seriously. Now, I want to make the most out of the next couple of years out of my career. I want to play my best football up until the age of 34 or 35, so that’s my plan. I’m gonna put everything into it. Put my all into it.”

On the fact that he still had success even when he didn’t dedicate himself completely:

“Just imagine what I could’ve been doing if I really would have been applying myself. That’s a regret that I have. I’m just glad that I have an opportunity to make amends for what I didn’t do and try to recap that. That’s what I wanted to show in my documentary because people didn’t know that. I wanted a clean slate, I wanted to put all of that out there so that once this documentary aired and the series is over, then I can move on with my life and I don’t have to answer a lot of questions. I can just answer them through my actions.”

Judging by the above paragraphs only, it sounds like he’s growing up.

Why Germany will win the upcoming World Cup.

Did Avatar mercilessly steal from Pocahontas?

Lastly, Lamar Odom entertainingly pimping Powerbars. Or something.

Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.” – Conan O’Brien saying goodbye from the Tonight Show

The Football Outsiders guys wrote up their worst of 2009 team. If you enjoy snide comments at the expense of pro athletes, this column is for you.

So, Sabby Piscitelli. It’s kind of a fun name, in that juvenile, vaguely dirty way some Italian names are. His house was burglarized during the win against Green Bay this year, and burglary is wrong and illegal, so he has my sympathies. I hope he was covered by insurance. If you do an Internet search on him, he’s apparently somewhat of a favorite of the ladies. They had an easy time finding him this year; all they had to do was look at who was supposed to be there when Tampa Bay gave up a long touchdown pass.

For those more herbally inclined, there’s Blaze of glory: Marijuana’s greatest moments in sports.

Bill Simmons did a post-show podcast on Jersey Shore this week. His initial podcast on the show is here.

Lastly, some Sportscenter fueled entertainment.

Follow-ups and excerpts from the Marvin Harrison story.

Jason Fagone also wrote an awesome story on Tim Tebow a few months back.

All these humanizing details tend to take the edge off the fact that Tebow’s entire role-model persona doesn’t work unless he can convey that, fundamentally, he’s better than you: stronger, more capable, more at peace, just basically happier. This is what the people who make fun of Tebow are skewering—his cult of personality. When Obama invited the Gators to the White House earlier this year, the sports blog Deadspin ran a picture of Tebow’s “steely-eyed Manshake” with the president under the cheeky headline our two greatest leaders make a pact to save the world.

But in Gainesville, in close quarters with 52,000 other students, where there’s already a statue of him, seven feet tall, carved from an oak tree—”Tim Treebow”—he’s universally adored. I try to find people to talk shit about him. I fail.

Ichiro! did an extensive interview last week and among other things talked about negativity and not getting fat. He’s probably my favorite active player and it’s not solely because he carries his bats in a briefcase.

A lot of people for a long time have thought that you can’t do this forever. A lot of people were thinking by now Ichiro would be a three hitter, he would be hitting 40 homeruns a year, but you can still do everything you did before. Are you in any way surprised that you are still doing these things and what is your reaction when people say Ichiro is going to move on and become this?

Probably for my style of baseball the key to maintaining it is not to get a gut.

As far as what other people say… The thing is a lot of people who comment about other people, especially people who say negative things about other people, they are not really in positions to be able to evaluate other people in the first place. If we input that information into ourselves more than necessary only negative things will come of that. So it is really about knowing yourself and not being controlled by people who have no value or say. I guess now that we have talked about this I guess you can say that is one key to where I am now is that I have not been swayed by what other people have said.

If you could trade places with anybody in the history of the game for one day who would you like to trade with and why?

(Becomes very animated)

There’s not really a certain who that comes to mind but I think I would like to become a really fat player. (Raucous laughter) Maybe not necessarily fat, but a really, really big player and the reason for that is when I see really, really big players able to perform in baseball I always think to myself how are they able to do that? Because I think to be able to be a good baseball player you have to be able to control your body and for them to have really big bodies and to perform well in this very difficult game of baseball, I am very curious.

Some other people say, ‘You are so small, how come you are able to perform on the baseball field?’ but to me it is only natural because with me I am able to control my movements and my body. For me it is the opposite. Big guys? How are you able to do it? That is a big mystery. (much laughter)

The first half of this Chargers mailbag reads like someone made it up. Actual answer to one of the questions, “I’m going to assume you’re joking. I can’t tell anymore with some of y’all.” Some highlights out of context:

There is a rumor floating around that several Chargers were “partying” .. Saturday night and well into Sunday morning before the game. Can any of this be confirmed?

Regarding Marty, I thought he was just plain stupid. Push come to shove, I take Norv…but I wish he was our offensive coordinator. That is his destiny in life, and that’s ok.

…and Kaeding???The boy can’t seem to handle pressure in the play-offs,that scares me going forward because he’s so darn good in the regular season,how do you justify a switch?I can’t think of a good question,because honestly,I think we’re as good as any team out there,I’m just confused as heck by yesterdays game,GO BOLTS…ALL THE WAY IN ’10…God,I hate baseball season….

I’ll skip this excerpt on this one, but Joe P. telling stories about Buck O’Neil = awesome.

Some NBA action…

Good Josh Smith

And bad Josh Smith (more accurately, why is Jeff Green not in the dunk contest?)

Lastly, here’s a collection of Jack Nicholson enjoying the Lakers this season.

The NBA D-League’s Idaho franchise is aptly named.

The Stampede run, gun and make themselves quite a bit of fun for their fans to watch. The team scores 111.2 and allows 105.6 points per game, primarily as a result of the fact that its contests consist of an average of approximately 104 possessions on each side. For reference purposes, the Golden State Warriors lead the NBA in pace at 100.9 possessions per game.

The Stampede press in the fullcourt throughout the game every time out and look to get out and run in transition at every opportunity. Coach Bob MacKinnon developed his system with last season’s championship-winning Colorado 14ers team, and he has brought it successfully to Idaho, where the Stampede are off to a 11-6 start. In addition to the fast pace, MacKinnon came to Boise with an original explanation for the motivation behind all the running.

“The great thing about basketball is that it’s a player’s game,” MacKinnon said. “When I got the job last year, I figured ‘What’s most important to the players?’ The most important things are minutes and numbers. Points, rebounds, assists, that kind of thing. As a coach I thought, ‘What can I do to take some of their concerns away and make it more about winning?’ I thought if we could get our possessions up, the way that we play will be determined more by possessions than by minutes. If we get our possessions up, the numbers will take care of themselves.”

Tip for all you degenerates out there: Don’t bet on any Chinese soccer games unless you have a good tip.

Match-fixing in Chinese football is “normal” but the poor standard of play in domestic leagues makes it difficult to detect, according to a club manager arrested in a nationwide police probe.

English soccer players had fun in the snow last week.

Even though the Redskins fail, Dan Snyder still wins.

Lastly, tickets to Dorkapalooza 2010 are available.

Good clock management story today on ESPN from Greg Garber. The column mentions Dick Curl & Herm Edwards at one point, which gives me reason to re-quote my favorite story from the 2009 season.

Is there a less encouraging sight than Dick Curl excitedly imparting information to an overwhelmed head coach trying to make a crucial strategic decision? He’s like a two-minute drill saboteur. Lost in the Jim Zorn bashing this week after the Rams-Redskins game was a vintage piece of Dick Curl gamesmanship at the 9:25 mark in the fourth quarter with the Rams down 9-7 and facing 4th-and-2 on the Washington 41. Now, what would someone who is not Dick Curl recommend in this situation? Send the offense back out and go for it? Attempt the long field goal? Solid choices, but lacking in the Curl touch. Wouldn’t it be better to call a timeout after an incompletion, line up in a fake punt formation with an eye toward drawing Washington offside, only to have one of your guys commit a false start at the last second, killing any chance for a field goal or manageable fourth-down conversion? Brilliant. I’m interested in who else Steve Spagnuolo considered for the clock wrangler job before settling on Curl. There were people in the McKinley administration with a better sense of when to take a timeout.

Norv Turner, Good Coach?

This point admittedly seemed more controversial two weeks ago, back when the Colts were 14-0 and the Saints were 13-1. Back-to-back losses have left both teams vulnerable entering the playoffs. Turner’s the last man standing all right, but his case would be complete with or without the late-season swoon from Jim Caldwell and Sean Payton. All it did was remind us that a good coach—fundamentally—is someone who keeps preventable damage to a minimum. That’s Norv Turner. Norv Turner is a good coach. How the hell did this happen?

For readers under the age of three, it’s worth noting that Turner was considered an apocalyptically bad head coach for nearly a decade. He went 49-59-1 in seven seasons in Washington and 9-23 in two years in Oakland. Since taking the Chargers job in 2007 he is 32-16, with a 3-2 mark in the playoffs Whether Turner improved in San Diego or merely had his incompetence outpaced by a new generation of coaches is debatable. Not debatable is Turner’s performance over the past one-and-a-half seasons holding together a Chargers team that had every excuse to go to pieces.

Top NFL Business Stories of 2009. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, especially during Lions games, and I’ll certainly have more on it this offseason.

Despite several recent meetings between the NFL and its labor counterpart, the NFL Players Association, regarding the extension of the labor agreement ratified in March of 2006, it appears we’re headed for a different system come March.

The amazing thing about this negotiation, unlike any other in modern professional sports, is that ownership is ready and willing to embrace a system without a Cap and the players are arguing in earnest for continued operation with a Cap.

In looking more closely, one can see two reasons: (1) Among the poison pills built into a system without a cap are two more years required for free agency, meaning 212 players – including top players such as Logan Mankins, Elvis Dumervil and Vincent Jackson – who would be free to negotiate with any team in the league now cannot; and (2) the lack of a spending floor that will permit (encourage) teams to roll back player costs and gear up for the next system, with or without a cap.

The gap between good and bad appears to be widening. The successful teams of recent years – Patriots, Colts, Chargers, Eagles, Packers, etc. – continue to have success. The unsuccessful teams of recent years – Lions, Raiders, Browns, Rams, Bills, etc. – continue to have challenges (the Rams and Lions will draft in the first two slots in consecutive years). The games appeared less competitive, especially early in the season.

Get all of your decade best-of lists here.

Boris Becker is playing poker.

NBA Jam is coming for the Wii!!!!

The evolution of soccer tactics and a video of the making of the World Cup ball.

Lastly…

This week in Jersey Shore:

This may be shocking, but it turns out, “The situation is that the “The Situation” is no stranger to getting paid to walk around shirtless.”

Best quotes from last week’s episode here. From the recap:

It wasn’t entirely clear how the gang scored themselves an invite to Sleazeside’s version of Lake Havasu, but we’re fairly certain the lake that they were romping in contains more crabs than your local Red Lobster. The highlight of the afternoon was clearly when Pauly D hopped in the water and not a single hair on his head moved.

Mark Sanchez needs to work on his accuracy……kind of.

How is this Meachem TD not counted in Yahoo FFBL Leagues?

This is why we gamble on Fresno State @ Illnois games.

“Pat Patriot” got caught in a prostitution ring. Looks like he’ll be pulled out this Sunday versus the Panthers.

Video that pretty much sums up the Chicago Bulls early troubles. No wonder they don’t lace em up every night; they are too busy watching the other team!

I think when hilarious parody skits are being made about your transgressions, it’s time for Tiger Woods to take time off of golf for a while.  Tiger and his inability to hide his legendary debauchery (that would of gotten a high five from every man in America if he wasn’t married with two kids) clinches him for the “Facepalm Award of the Year”.  More end of year awards to come later this month!

Onto the picks:

Denver +7 @ Indianapolis

Baltimore -13 vs Detroit

6pt Teaser:

Minnesota -0.5 vs Cincinnati

Oakland +7 vs Washington

The Gambler Who Blew $127 Million

During a year-long gambling binge at the Caesars Palace and Rio casinos in 2007, Terrance Watanabe managed to lose nearly $127 million.

The run is believed to be one of the biggest losing streaks by an individual in Las Vegas history. It devoured much of Mr. Watanabe’s personal fortune, he says, which he built up over more than two decades running his family’s party-favor import business in Omaha, Neb. It also benefitted the two casinos’ parent company, Harrah’s Entertainment Inc., which derived about 5.6% of its Las Vegas gambling revenue from Mr. Watanabe that year.

Watanabe would have done well to have this guy gamble with him. He actually supports a family picking up losing tickets that aren’t.

Do MLB teams need defined closers?

As someone who is somewhat caught between the world of statistical analysis and actually being involved in the game I’ve thought a lot about how I would handle the closer situation if I were a manager. In this instance I feel like players pitch better when they have a definitive role, thus I would disagree with statistics that say that you should play match ups in the 9th inning unless you have an elite closer. The fact is that it is nearly impossible to be locked in where you need to be to pitch for the entire game, in every situation.

Obligatory NCAA Football playoff article for the year. It’s actually well researched & written and until something of the sort is implemented I’ll continue to not care about college football.

Some enterprising souls managed to legally scam both the US government and the credit card companies.

Enthusiasts of frequent-flier mileage have all kinds of crazy strategies for racking up credits, but few have been as quick and easy as turning coins into miles.

At least several hundred mile-junkies discovered that a free shipping offer on presidential and Native American $1 coins, sold at face value by the U.S. Mint, amounted to printing free frequent-flier miles. Mileage lovers ordered more than $1 million in coins until the Mint started identifying them and cutting them off.

Coin buyers charged the purchases, sold in boxes of 250 coins, to a credit card that offers frequent-flier mile awards, then took the shipments straight to the bank. They then used the coins they deposited to pay their credit-card bills. Their only cost: the car trip to make the deposit.

Top Music of the Decade

PitchFork
Paste Magazine
NME
The AV Club
Rolling Stone

MTV’s Jersey Shore is the newest best worst reality television program ever. It’s probably not worth the time and brain cells killed to sit and watch full episodes of this, but the clips and quotes are outstanding. From Vulture:

“You have your penis pierced. I love it.” —Jenni “JWOWW”
After housemates Pauly D and Jenni “JWOWW” found themselves a little bit buzzed and falling prey to the always romantic strains of house music at club Karma [Side Note: We're strongly considering hitting up Google Maps and making a road trip there this weekend], they made their way back to the share and started making out. It was there and then that we learned that “the party’s in Pauly D’s pants tonight” (his words, not ours), and that said party was pierced.

“I feel like this is beneath me. I’m a bartender. I do great things.” —Angelina “Jolie”
We’ve all been in a position at one time or another when we’ve felt like our unique talents might be going overlooked in the workplace. However, we imagine that only a small fraction of you ever had this epiphany while putting airbrushed tank tops on hangers in a souvenir T-shirt joint on the boardwalk. Thanks to Angelina, though, we can now all empathize with her plight. She’s sort of like the Erin Brockovich of Shore Store.

“I love the Situation.” —Mike “the Situation”
And now, so does America! You see, our boy Mike has dubbed himself “the Situation,” which provides him with the opportunity to lift up his shirt and display his rippling abdominal muscles at a moment’s notice simply by asking women, “Do you love the Situation?” while pointing at his six-pack. You might think this outright display of peacocking wouldn’t work in a post-Mystery world, but surprisingly, it works like gangbusters. Not only do women coo and fawn in his presence, he was able to sell multiple factions of guidettes booty shorts emblazoned with his catchphrase, quickly proving himself to be one of America’s all-time greatest salesmen. Could “I love the Situation” be the new “Eat my shorts, man”? Quite possibly!

You can get catchphrase emblazoned clothing here.

Lastly a couple of videos, first some clips from the actual show and then a “parody” of an audition tape for season 2.

According to the NY Times, pro athletes are having a hard time selling their houses after changing teams so now they’re leasing to one another.

“I’ll never buy again,” said the veteran Nets guard Keyon Dooling, who rents the downtown Orlando condominium he bought in 2005 to a Magic player. “That was a learning experience. I’ll never buy again as far as where I’m playing. It’s not a good idea because you can never predict how long you’re going to be in a situation. You could be stuck with a piece of property that you never go to.”

Dooling’s teammate Courtney Lee, a rookie with the Magic last season, considered buying in the same condominium building before Dooling advised him against it. Good thing, since Lee is now with the Nets, where he rents on a month-to-month basis from the former Net Bostjan Nachbar, who is playing in Turkey.

I think that’s the first Bostjan Nachbar reference on this blog.

Tony Dungy getting some props.

Tony Dungy continues to provide understated excellence on Sunday Night Football. Somehow, he’s able to illustrate and tactfully disapprove better than any of the more animated commentators filling the airwaves. Instead of openly criticizing Bears QB Jay Cutler, he said, “I didn’t think anyone could overthrow Devin Hester.

Someone should do a study on why people do obvious studies.

Good stuff from the Football Outsiders game charting project. Some highlights:

Believe it or not, there was someone who played worse than Mr. Russell on offense, and his name is Chris Morris. While subbing for Samson Satele at center in the first three weeks, I nearly JaMarcussed my pants charting all his blown blocks and inability to handle a simple stunt. Either he’s getting bowled over on passes, or whiffing linebackers on runs. While he has returned to his natural position as a guard, every once in a while I’ll see him diving around in on my TV, only to fall to the ground while his man wraps up the running back.

Chris Spencer has pretty much proven that he’s not a starting-caliber NFL center. He’s a detriment as a run blocker on almost every play. The bad news is that Max Unger, drafted to be Spencer’s replacement, has started every game at guard and has looked even worse. The pinnacle of this duo was a play against Dallas when Unger and Spencer tried to double-team Jay Ratliff. Ratliff not only pushed the pair into the backfield, he actually put Spencer on his back.

When Jamarcus Russell isn’t being used a part of the English language, he’s busy being compared to an airplane.

Jamarcused? Jamarcian?

Some good stories on recently passed Wizards owner Abe Pollin.

The online dating site OKCupid has started a blog that delves into the statistics of online daters. I read the whole thing in one sitting. Captivating for a superdork like me.

Site-wide, two-thirds of male messages go to the best-looking third of women. So basically, guys are fighting each other 2-for-1 for the absolute best-rated females, while plenty of potentially charming, even cute, girls go unwritten.

The medical term for this is male pattern madness.

…

As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh. On the other hand, when it comes to actual messaging, women shift their expectations only just slightly ahead of the curve, which is a healthier pattern than guys’ pursuing the all-but-unattainable. But with the basic ratings so out-of-whack, the two curves together suggest some strange possibilities for the female thought process, the most salient of which is that the average-looking woman has convinced herself that the vast majority of males aren’t good enough for her, but she then goes right out and messages them anyway.

Moving on…

Old data on NFL home underdogs late in the season, but interesting.

Lastly, the World Cup draw is tomorrow and the US, along with Mexico, basically got screwed.

EDIT: AWESOME draw for us.

As everyone reading this knows, Bills coach Dick Jauron was fired this week. The best explanation as to why came from ESPN’s Gregg Easterbrook:

Prior to kickoff [versus Tennessee], Rich Gannon of CBS asked Dick “Cheerio, Chaps” Jauron what Buffalo worked on during the bye. Cheerio Chaps replied he spent two weeks studying film and concluded there was nothing wrong with Buffalo’s strategy, “We just need to improve our execution.” Coaches love to blame “execution,” because this is the same as saying, “The coaches are doing everything right; the players need to perform better.” There’s nothing wrong with our strategy! After spending two weeks supposedly improving execution, Buffalo threw two interceptions returned for touchdowns.

Even the officials fell asleep during Monday night’s Browns-Ravens game.

France needed a miracle cover to beat Ireland for one of the final World Cup places on Wednesday. The World Cup odds prior to the December 4th draw are here.

Sticking with soccer, Baseball Prospectus‘s Nate Silver has helped create a soccer power index ranking the top 100 international teams in the world. It will be interesting to see what gambling opportunities this will uncover for the World Cup.

More than you probably ever wanted to know about how pinball machines are rigged.

The All-Inclusive All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Guide

Lastly, Lady Gaga covers are better at the internet than you.

Put $5 on the Niners, -3, last night; they still found a way to give me a heart attack at the end of the game.  Thank you, Jay Cutler, for sucking (he threw his 9th Red Zone INT yesterday!).  My friend Rahul said it best about this abortion of a game: “First thing I do when I get home to to make sure this game video never gets played in my DVR, again.”  Talk about two terrible efforts by two mediocre bad teams setting HD football back 10 years, geesh!

Good blow-by-blow commentary from DCSports Bog on the DeAngelo Hall vs the entire Falcons sideline Royal Rumble from last Sunday’s game. The best part of all of this is the post game comments by Hall (who may sue Falcons staffers for harrassment, lol).  Talk about one paranoid athlete who still holds grudges.

Apparently, only in the NFL, you can fine Chad Ochocinco $20K for having a little fun (granted, a bit inappropriate, but still hilarious) at the referees expense, but yet when you take a cheap shot at a lineman’s face, causing potential career and life threatening injury while he can’t defend himself, you ONLY get fined $7,500 dollars. WTF?

Granted it was entertaining, but the Final Table of the 2009 WSOP sure won’t help the “poker is a game of skill” cause!  What a monkey-poo flinging contest!

Here is one of my favorite articles: The Not-SO Madden A 2010 Team.  Great line on WR Yamon Figurs, an overall 39 in the game:

Most embarrassing stat: 40 rating for Awareness.  With that kind of Awareness rating, I’m surprised Yamon even remembers to bring his helmet to the game.

Wow, I didn’t know women’s soccer could be so chippy.  Watching that video reminded me of the Celtics/Sixers-Piston-Lakers brawls of the late 80′s.  Maybe DeAngelo Hall could get some tackling tips from the New Mexico defender.

Onto the picks:

NCAA:

I am contemplating taking the first half under of South Carolina vs Florida game (22).  It still may be too low for my tastes, but the Gamecocks are good at keeping things close at the half, and then imploding like Steve Spurrier trying to get out of the sand bunker on 15.

NFL:

TB@MIA Over 43

I think the Ronnie and Ricky show could beat this by themselves with Tampa’s piss poor defense.  Miami is also prone to giving up a big play or 3.

NO -14 @ St. Louis

Simmons convinced me here.  Plus I also had a nice big win putting 45 on Indy -13.5 earlier in the year vs the Rams, who lost 42-3.  Yeah, I’ll take the motivated favorite here who didn’t play their best vs Carolina last week.

6 Point Teaser of the Week:

Arizona vs Seattle -2.5

Cincinnati @ PIT +13

EDIT: Cutler is up to 4 interceptions on the day, one away from completing the Dirty Sanchez. Meanwhile, San Francisco just punted into the end zone from Chicago’s 34 yard line, up 10-6 with 3 minutes to play. Both of these teams deserve to lose.

EDIT2: He did it! INT #5 in the end zone to end the game. As Nick said, “Set a goal and reach it.”

More from the annals of how not to manage a team: We’ve already discussed Allen Iverson, who’s not currently with the team. Thankfully, Grizzlies owner Michael Heisley, “expects him to come back.”

German Soccer giants Bayern Munich were ripped by their fullback Philip Lahm this week:

“Top teams in the Champions League have first-class players in seven, eight positions – we don’t,” Lahm said. “Other clubs have a system, a philosophy, and buy the players accordingly. We don’t. It’s not enough to buy good players, one has to develop a team,” he added. He specifically mentioned the lack of creative guile in midfield, an oversupply of centre-forwards and absence of a second decent full-back. It’s a squad full of big names and even bigger holes. A 13-year-old Football Manager aficionado in deepest Nepal could tell you as much….

What was the club’s response? In a word: predictable.

Lahm was disciplined after he launched an astonishing attack on the club, coach Louis van Gaal and his fellow players in Sueddeutche Zeitung, his words earning him a fine of around £26,000, while a Bayern statement asserted that Lahm had broken an “absolute taboo” in voicing his views publicly.

Also predictable is the official Spanish soccer team of Miracle Covers, Atletico Madrid, who lost to Real Madrid 3-2 last weekend.

Since October 1999, Al Nasr Saudi Club, Al-Ahly, Alavés, Alcorcón, Almería, Anderlecht, Arsenal, Barcelona, Bayer Leverkusen, Bayern Munich, Betis, Boca Juniors, Celta Vigo, Deportivo, Espanyol, Galatasaray, Getafe, Graz, Hannover, Internazionale, Juventus, Las Palmas, Levante, Liverpool, Lokomotiv Moscow, Málaga, Mallorca, Manchester United, Milan, Monaco, Murcia, Nastic, Numancia, Olympiakos, Lyon, Osasuna, PSV, Racing, Rayo Vallecano, Nexaca, Real Sociedad, Real Unión, Recreativo, Roma, Servette, Sevilla, Spartak Moscow, Sporting Lisbon, Tokyo Verdy, Toledo, Valencia, Valladolid, Villarreal, Werder Bremen and Zaragoza have all beaten Real Madrid. Atlético have not. Somehow, every time the big day arrives, they wake up at 6am in a freezing Pennsylvania town all too aware of how it’s going to end.

Switching to tackle football, Mike Singletary & his stopwatch was “upbeat” about Alex Smith’s performance.

Singletary said Monday that “Alex had only one play that was really on him.” He meant a fourth quarter pass intended for Josh Morgan that Smith telegraphed, allowing Titans safety Chris Hope to swoop in front of Morgan for the take-away.

The 49ers rolled out 358 yards of total offense, their second best total of the season. Smith’s 286 passing yards were the most by a San Francisco quarterback this season.

“It was, unfortunately, one of the better offensive performances that I’ve seen since I’ve been here,” Singletary said. “Take away the turnovers, and we have a chance to really have a good offensive game and have some excitement and momentum going forward.”

Mike, the turnovers are what make the Alex Smith Experience so special. Smith literally just threw an interception as I’m typing this, negated by a Bears penalty for lining up offside.

Michael Lombardi wrote about the Giants this week:

Was the loss Coughlin’s fault? Not really, but right now he has a very fragile team lacking in confidence. He knows he needs his team to play at the level it played last Sunday in order to win. To ensure that same type of performance, he took the burden of losing off his players. He can walk into the meeting rooms and honestly tell his team that he was the reason they lost a game when they played so well. This kind of honesty from a leader is called “management of self,” which means that the leader is willing to accept blame and be honest with his team. It also allows him to be critical of his followers when the time is right, assuring that the criticism is heard.

This is a smart move on Coughlin’s part. This method of leadership doesn’t work unless the team plays well — because to accept the blame, Coughlin has to know (which is clear on the film) that his team played well. Walking into the meeting room and accepting blame for a poor effort makes the leader weak and worthless. We see this all the time. We hear a coach say, “This loss is on me. This loss is my fault,” when the team played poorly from the start. To exclude the players from criticism when the team plays poorly is not the kind of leadership that will enhance the leader’s profile with the players. He looks like a fool in the locker room, and the players get the sense that no matter how badly they play, the coach will shoulder the blame. This is not a culture he wants to create.

What better to follow that up with than Lady Gaga? Two awesome covers of Poker Face by Christopher Walken and Eric Cartman.

Where better to brush your teeth than at a soccer game?

A list of the top 100 movies of the decade. I imagine there will be a lot of best of the 00s lists in the next few months.

Really useful primer on the upcoming college hoops season.

Lastly, this preview of this weekend’s Chiefs-Raiders game will likely be more entertaining than the game itself.

Halloween winners on the subway in Boston.

I love this headline: FAT footballers to receive free Big Macs in Thai sponsorship deal. Somehow, I’m not sure this is exactly the best idea…

Thailand’s top footballers will receive free burgers as part of their new three-year, £545,000 sponsorship deal with the fast food giant McDonald’s.

According to the Football Association of Thailand (FAT), McDonald’s will provide £450,000 in cash and the rest in products in exchange for shirt sponsorship for the next three years, starting this month.

And in case you were wondering, soccer from random countries is entertaining.

If I can read weird text correctly, I believe Botev pulled off a late 1-0 win, but it’s not the goals we’re interested in. No sir, it’s the rioting. Not only did players and backroom staff from both teams decamp to the pitch for some punching, shoving, and colourful language, but the fans in the stands got in on the act as well, setting fire to random bits of the stadium.

This is what I believe to be the first mention & link to a story about Larry Bird since this blog’s inception.

The Warriors fail at hazing.

Some thoughts on 2009′s best fielders in baseball. That Pujols guy is pretty good.

Lastly, this just about ruined my day.

Wenger may not have been referring to the Snuggie specifically in the quote above, but it certainly applies. Fewer products have been loved, mocked, and the subject of pub crawls as much as the Snuggie. And as much as I appreciate being able to answer a corded phone without removing my blanket or attending a sporting event dressed like a monk, I was not about to pay $20 for the privilege of doing so (free book light excluded).

But now, for a limited time only, the Snuggie is free. No, I’m not making that up. Get one here.

These are all excellent questions: Why teach a bear to ice skate? Can a bear do a triple salchow? How does the bear skate–four legs or two? And why, given that it already has sharp claws and teeth, would anyone strap blades on a bear?

A happy ending for the week’s most infamous Phillies fan.

Antoine Walker – Money Manager

Lastly…

(718): what happened last night?
(917): u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
(718): that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

Many more of those here.

Some analysis of the unheralded Saints offensive line.

Brett Favre – Tecmo Bowl Hero

It turns out that yes, NBA players gamble during games. And some of them don’t want to pay up.

How The Roots became Jimmy Fallon’s house band:

We called him back, but it was a crazy Mexican stand off. We said, “OK, we’ll consider it,” but he thought we were bluffing, then of course we thought he was bluffing. It took about three weeks for everyone to put their guns down and take each other seriously because time was ticking. He needed to get a band, and we had three weeks to convince each other we were serious and finally put our guns down and be serious about it.

Matt Taibbi is one of my favorite writers. This is too funny to be made up:

…apologize for the long absence, have been on some other stuff. Among other things dealing with a lot of disgruntled Cleveland Browns fans who are pissed that I compared Eric Mangini to Augustus Gloop, the pudgy kid who was drinking from the chocolate river without permission in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I thought Browns fans would find this funny, but apparently not. I got one letter from someone who expressed the feeling that if I were ever to have kids, he hoped “they would be born with Achondroplasia.” So I’m sitting there scratching my head, wondering what Achondroplasia is, and right on cue, two minutes later, he sends me a link to an X-ray picture of someone with the disease. I have to admit, I burst out laughing when I saw the picture — not because the disease is funny (it isn’t, not at all), but just because someone was feeling so crappy about their football team that they felt compelled to dig that horrifying thing up to send to some writer bashing their team. I mean, I totally understand the guy.

Wade Phillips – Overcommunicator

Patrick Crayton is willing to say what the Dallas Cowboys coaches wouldn’t: He’s been replaced in the starting lineup by Miles Austin.

Crayton just wishes somebody would have told him that. He figured it out Monday, when Austin worked opposite Roy Williams in two-wide receiver sets.

Awesomeness from Chuck Klosterman. Think about this the next time Ron Jaworski starts bashing the wildcat. Read the whole thing:

Whenever an innovation fails to result in a title, its unorthodoxy takes the hit; every time a football coach tries something unorthodox, he is blasted for not playing “the right way.” But all that “not playing the right way” means is that a coach is ignoring the eternal lie of football: the myth that everything done in the past is better than anything that could be invented in the present. As a result, the public arm of football — the conservative arm — bashes innovation immediately, even while adopting the principles it attacks. The innovators are ridiculed. And that kind of reaction is reassuring to fans, because it makes us feel like football is still the same game we always want to remember. It has a continuity of purpose. It symbolizes the same ideals and appeals to the same kind of person. It feels conservative, but it acts liberal. Everything changes, but not really.

The 2009 Dodgers NLCS. Epic Fail in words and pictures.

Instructions for replicating the best burger ever.

This makes the Troy/FIU game look completely legitimate. There’s a video too.:

Here’s the setup — Going into the last day of the Maranhão State League second division season in Brazil yesterday, two clubs sat atop the league with the same number of points: Viana and Moto Club. On this decisive day, Viana hosted Chapadinha, a club they had a scoreless draw with the last time they played, and Moto Club took on Santa Quiteria. Both games were scheduled to take place at exactly the same time and both Viana and Moto needed a win to take the league title.

Everything went like normal until word reached Viana — who were up 2-0 on Chapadinha 35 minutes in the second half — heard that Moto Club were winning their match, too. Then things got a little fishy. And by that I mean Chapadinha players began to WALK OFF THE PITCH and as Viana proceeded to score nine goals in the final nine minutes of the match to win 11-0. A bit odd, no? I mean, watch the video above. It’s like watching someone play FIFA with the difficulty set to “special needs”.

Lastly, Mrs. Jose Lima is also better at the internet than you.

It comes down to this: As a franchise, what do you aspire to be? If “world champion” is your answer, you cannot tolerate or coddle role players who botch bunts, run the bases poorly and miss signs or cutoff men — brainless mistakes that cost you runs, and games, especially against the monsters of the American League East.

Really cool old story on/by Shoeless Joe Jackson.

Grown ups screwing things up.

Fantastic breakdown of Ed Reed’s interception of Carson Palmer last week.

Antonio Pierce on playing the Raiders:

There was no vibe of trying or effort from the Raiders at all from a defensive standpoint against their offense. We’re getting three-and-outs. You don’t hear nobody [saying], ‘Hey, let’s go!’ trying to pick the guys up, rallying them, getting guys fired up. There was nothing. It was quiet. A guy gets sacked or somebody gets beat, they just get up. It’s not like there’s yelling or no kind of [emotion] about the way they were playing.

It was shocking to be out there in that game and get that kind of feeling.

Oakland is only getting two touchdowns at home to Philly on Sunday. There’s an argument that the bottom teams this year aren’t that bad. Try explaining that to this guy.

How smart bettors are identified. “It’s not the amount that usually moves a line, but rather the ‘face’ behind the action.”

Spanish soccer, fun for everyone:

This week, UEFA are reported to be investigating [Rayo Vallecano], along with Las Palmas, as their Round 41 league tie from the previous season is on the governing body’s 40 game, match-fixing dodgy list.

UEFA are basing their suspicions on these ties on irregular betting patterns….

The match itself came at the tail end of the Spanish season and gave the Canary Islanders the point needed to survive in the Segunda A division and the Rayo goalkeeper the top stopper award.

Wednesday’s edition of Mundo Deportivo explains exactly what happened by reporting that “the game ended 0-0 with barely two shots on target and shouts of “friends forever” from the Las Palmas stands.”

If the investigation shows that match-fixing was involved in the affair then the punishment could be severe – in the “both squads spending the weekend with the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading team” sense of the word.

Mundo Deportivo reports that any guilty party would receive no more than a three point deduction as a slap on the wrists.

And this is because sporting fraud isn’t a actually a crime in Spain.

Also fun is qualifying for the World Cup. The US scored with only 10-men in stoppage time to tie Costa Rica 2-2 last night and sent Honduras through in the process. The video has Honduran fans celebrating the miracle cover. Johnathan Bornstein – Honduran Hero.

Most entertaining coach ever

But certain people who have not supported me, and you know who you are, can keep sucking.

IGN is counting down the top 100 Nintendo games of all time.

Perhaps the most interesting tidbit of all about Duck Hunt, however, was the stand-alone product’s incredibly small size. The entire game fit on an infinitesimally small cartridge sized at 192 kilobits.

That’s smaller than the average excel files I deal with at work. You can play what’s sure to be ranked #1 (and the best video game ever) here.

Lastly, always remember that Chris Bosh is better at the internet than you.

At least they haven’t been caught betting on their own games yet.

Anyone ever go to prison for the basketball games?

As the inaugural opponents for San Quentin’s over-40 squad, an element of the prison’s outreach program, we had received the following warnings before our first visit: stay bunched together at all times, give only first names and run only when on the court because, as hoops coordinator Stephen Irwin, told us, “Otherwise the guards will think you’re a prisoner making a break for it, and trust me, you don’t want that.”

Best prediction ever.

Michael Crabtree’s contract explained in detail.

Rotoworld has a running player page for the Raiders offense.

And there are new details in the Cable-Hanson case.

Cable called the meeting to address Hanson’s dealings with the defensive backs. “The players are confused by you, Randy,” Cable allegedly told Hanson. He also reportedly told Hanson that he was being relegated to film work and would no longer be allowed to work directly with the defensive backs. “John Marshall says he has talked to you about this,” Cable told Hanson.

According to the Hanson’s statement, he turned to Marshall and said, ‘That’s a lie, John!” and Hanson insisted that Marshall had not previously mentioned anything about a communication problem with the defensive backs.

At that point, Hanson told police he was blindly body slammed by Cable into the wall behind Marshall with such force that he was thrown out of his chair and into a small table next to the wall. The table had a small lamp on it and both were overturned and broken in the scuffle.

According to Hanson’s account, the other coaches in the room began yelling, “Tom, what are you doing?” as Cable put his right hand against Hanson’s face and shoved his left cheek against the wall. Hanson told police he could feel his upper jaw being crushed into the wall.

The other coaches pulled Cable from Hanson, but an enraged Cable broke their grasp and attacked Hanson a second time, allegedly screaming, “I’m going to kill you!” over and over as he kept a hand around Hanson’s throat.

Hey there Trent Edwards!

Lastly, anyone can be cool, but awesome takes practice.

More on Atletico Madrid, the most entertaining team the other side of the Atlantic.

The original mission the FourFourTwo bosses gave La Liga Loca was to deliver a careful, detailed and thoroughly thoughtful thesis of what Porto needed to do against Atlético Madrid to win Wednesday’s Champions League clash.

The initial two-word response – “Turn up” – was deemed somewhat lacking in depth by the prissy, picky editors.

Fascinating profile on my new favorite head coach.

How to build a blog audience quickly.

Jimmy Fallon’s first highlight. It’s legitimately worth watching, I promise.

Making fun of books written in the 70s is fun.

Advice to aspiring professional athletes: Never, EVER bring your girlfriend to a press conference.

Thinking of going to Delaware to gamble on NFL? Read this.

Delaware Park is just what I thought it would be, only worse. I expected the joyless casino floors, filled with lonely senior citizens dropping quarters into slot machines. I expected overpriced drinks and a measure of surliness from the staff. But I also expected a damn buffalo wing, or a horse race, or a waitress with a fighting chance of serving her clientèle. Football gambling is new to Delaware, but the whole casino seemed caught off guard, as if no one expected thirsty football fans on a Sunday afternoon. The whole affair was inconvenient, mismanaged, planned on a whim and financed on a dime. In short, it was uniquely Delaware.

Lastly, the headline of the week.

Now on Twitter: Miraclecovers

The NFL and Nature

The NFL has become so fast and efficient that last season, teams each scored 22.03 points per game, the highest since 1967, while all the league’s 32 teams combined for 11,279 points—the most in NFL history.

The game has become less cluttered. Offenses averaged just 3.09 turnovers (interceptions and fumbles) per game, the lowest of all time by more than 10%, and offensive lines allowed just 4.04 sacks per game—also the lowest ever. Even place kickers set a new mark: They made a record-high 84.5% of their field-goal attempts.

Some football thinkers believe these numbers speak to a temporary period of offensive dominance in the NFL—just one more high point in an endlessly fluctuating historical curve. But if you venture a bit beyond the particulars of football, to the principles of science, there’s another argument to be made: that the NFL’s high-speed, high-scoring offenses are a reflection of one of the laws of nature—the tendency of all things to evolve toward efficiency.

From this week’s TMQ: “Stats of the Week No. 7: Cleveland has one offensive touchdown in its past eight games.” I wonder if the Cleveland announcers will be like Oakland’s last year? Touchdown Raiders Offense!

Gus Johnson again had the best game of the day in week two. Last year I changed my fantasy team name to “Going with Gus” for a week, but it was because I was starting this guy. I could be convinced to put the stopwatch away. Gus & Steve Tasker have Cleveland (+13) at Baltimore this week. Just saying…

49ers fans are wondering about Mike’s stopwatch too.

Nice to see Tom Brady back on the Patriots injury report.

If this is a sport, how can we set lines and bet on it?

Note to all coaches: If your team is underperforming, paying off disgruntled fans is always an option.

Lastly, this is the coolest bookstore ever.

The language used is the same I used towards the TV on Sunday as Tom Brady was on his ass….again.  How about some two tight end shotgun, or a halfback/middle screen, Bill!

http://bostonist.com/2009/09/14/masshole_men_mad_men_parody.php